R. B. couldn’t find a liberal and open-minded girlfriend like himself. But with the Saint Anthony’s help he met a woman who shares his tastes. He thanks for that with this retablo.

I thank Saint Sebastian for a successful surgery on my boobies. Now Carlos loves me very much and we are both happy living together.

Yuly
La Condesa, Mexico City, 2007

Samuel Rodrigues fell in love with two mermaids. They enchanted him with their singing. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, he didn’t want to work but spent all days long at the bottom of the laguna. Until one day he saw the mermaids eating with their big sharp-toothed mouth. He thanks the Virgin of the Rosary for delivering him from those monsters’ spell.

Yolanda Rivera was hired as a wet-nurse. But the baby had teeth and used to bite her. Yolanda thanks Saint Paschal Baylon because she has found another job and doesn’t have to suffer from this baby anymore.

Ernesto Romero and Elvira J. were caught by the police while having sex in a car. They thank Saint Charbel with this retablo for the policeman was kind enough to let them go.

The sisters M. and R. loved having sex in the public baths until one day they both caught a severe infection. They thank Saint Martha for healing and promise to be less slutty.

Maria B. went through a terrible embarrassment when her mother found her sex toy. She thanks Saint Rita with this retablo because her mother understood her and told nothing to her father.

Luis Ramirez was scared of women. But his uncle took him to a brothel, and he finally found out what does it mean to be a man. He thanks Saint Jude Thaddeus because, although he enjoyed the experience, he didn’t get depraved.

Oh Saint God, thank for it was only a dream when the damned devil appeared to me and entered through the window. I ask for forgiveness and I swear I won’t cheat on my husband anymore.

Repenting wife J. R. C.
Condesa, Mexico City — February 14, 2000

Pregnant Ramona Barrales was scared by some carrancistas fighting in the bar. She thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe because she gave birth to her baby without problems.

Tlaxcala, 1912

Notes:
The Carrancistas were the revolutionary followers of the president Venustiano Carranza during the Mexican revolution.

Juana M. got drunk and had a brilliant idea to ride a bike naked. She thanks Saint Rita with this retablo for the police arrested her only for 48 hours.

I spent months looking for a job and finally I found one—as an art model for painters. I liked to see how they were shaping my image with their brushes. But there was a problem. I felt chilly and froze for being naked without moving for hours. Thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe I found another job—in dry cleaning. Now I’m happy because it’s always warm there.

Cesar Morales used to sleep with the daughter of a farmer. But one day the father caught them and pierced a Cesar’s leg by the pitchfork. He thanks Saint James with this retablo for healing.