I, Casimiro Vergara, give thanks to Saint Anthony of Padua for not losing my head when I climbed up to repair tv-antenna and discovered my son playing wrestling in my lucky underwear with his best friend. I almost fell down the roof after seeing it. I promised to pay an air-ballon trip for my son and his friend, walk the laika and commission this exvoto painted by E. Espin.

Tilzapotla, Morelos, 2011

Virgin of Guadalupe, I offer you this exvoto so you intercede for me. I’m about to turn 40, keep on being bachelor, living at my parents’ house and dream to live from my art. As you see, I need a miracle. Nothing impossible for God. He gives a partner, roof and sustenance for little birds. Emmanuel Espin painted it, with faith.

December 12, 2021

Rafael Nieto de Dios and Lola Mento Mialma give infinite thanks to the Almighty Lord of the Hearts from Huajapan de Lion for having met each other at the rehearsals of jarabe mixteco dance to go to Gelagetza.

2017, Oaxaca

I thank the Virgin of Sorrows because, in spite of our poverty, we managed to put an altar for my father-in-law who, although he was a Jehovah’s witness, was born Catholic and enjoyed hojaldras pastries. Thank you, Holy Virgin, for interceding for him with Saint Peter so he would open the gates and let him pass, although he didn’t believe in you. Señora Santa Trinidad from Ocotepec, Morelos, ordered Emmanuel Espintla to paint this exvoto.

November 2, 2019

I give perpetual thanks to the general Virgin of Zapopan because, although she didn’t reclaim my husband Astrolopiteco Coronado from the vice, she at least granted him a job as a tequila master sommelier. Doña Carlota Sauza thanks with this exvoto. Emmanuel Espin painted it to please her.

Jalisco, Mexico, 2020

Getting with Maria Morales’ son to swim in the spring where the serpent ate the toad, Virginia del Pozo felt sick and pain. She was very scared and implored the Lord of the Faint from Tapazulapan, Oaxaca, for intervention so that it wouldn’t be a deadly illness. Fortunately and by unknown reason, she got pregnant and healthy. Ascribing it to the miracle of the Lord of the Faint, she ordered E. Espintla P. to paint this exvoto.

Year 2007, Villa del Progreso

I thank Saint Raymond Nonnatus fro delivering us from yabbering Tila Maria Sesto’s gossips when she caught us, me and my buddy, watching soccer in underwear. She almost gave us stomach pain when we saw her, and we almost spoiled our underpants. She started to say that we were motherfuckers. But no, I went to my buddy’s house because he has such a big TV-device and a fan from the heat. I ordered to paint Melo Colli in gratitude.

Merida, Yucatan, 2009

Notes:
This retablo is not for wide audience. There are local Yucatan comedians Tila Maria Sesto and Melo Colli mentioned here. The caption also contains Yucatan expression such as:

He-lé — expression of negation or simply “no”.

I offer this retablo to the Divine Child of Atocha for the received favor of making my mother-in-law Chonita fall asleep while she was looking after the altar for the dead. She slept so deeply that I managed to eat a pastry. Pancracio Duran gives thanks.

Tehuixtla, Morelos
Painted by E. Espin P., November 1, 2014

I thank Saint Peter for letting Salome Pineda who died in a car accident to come and eat the offerings on October 28, the day of the killed. I told her how much I love her and that she shouldn’t worry and that I look after her two sons from her third marriage.

The cuckold, 28–10–2000

I, Marinita Costa, offer this exvoto thanking the Virgin of the Sea for looking after little turtles’ babies and for making me realize that the sea is a house and not just a giant pool. I beg and implore for forgiveness for those times when I threw Coca-Cola light bottles with love messages inside in the sea. I wish I stay an old maid for this stupidity.

Acapulco, Guerrero, 2006

We were finishing to rise up the circus tent when suddenly the divine image of Saint Bartholomew miraculously appeared without anyone noticing where it came from. The strongmen of the Espintla circus testify what happened, with this exvoto.

Coatepec, 2000

The Diarrhea twin brothers, acrobats, give their infinite gratitude to the Divine Child of Prague, with this retablo, for that day when they had a very wet diarrhea, and they climbed up the trapeze, and the Child miraculously stopped their wet shits. Shitting hemorrhoids.

Aguascalientes, 2006

I’m not gossiping, I’m just a communicative person.

I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe because this gossiping Lucha stopped insulting me. I, Maria de los Angeles, from Mexico City, 2000.