Your slave Gino Robert in Sant Martí d’Empúries, February 2014

Thanks Holy God for being wet-n-slow when you could’ve been quick-n-dry.

Barcelona, February, 2014

Thank you, Virgin, because that irritable misanthrope my father miraculously saved his life when he crashed his little plane in a windmill. He was left crippled, and Delta pensioned him off early. My mother and I are very happy because now he helps us about the house. But my sister isn’t thrilled about it because she can’t spend afternoons locked up in her room with her boyfriend anymore.

Gino Rubert dedicates the present retablo to the Holy Father for hearing his prayers and giving his wife a fatal pulmonary infection because she was a very cruel and abusive person.

Mexico City, 2013

Thank God for the blonde let me get to third base.

Gino Rubert
Mexico City, December 2014

Your slave Lupita, The Invisible Black woman, from Raval, Barcelona.

2014, during the celebrations at Huejotzingo, an UFO abducted my husband and my mother-in-law. I hid myself and entrusted myself to the Holy Child of Atocha whom I’m infinitely thankful to for they didn’t see me.

After few beers in the bar, on my way back home, I went to thickets to take a leak. Then an UFO landed right next to me. I was scared of being disintegrated by the UFO’s crew or something worse, but thank God they came in peace.

Thank you dear God for being sweet and warm when you could have been bitter and cold.

Barcelona — January 25, 2014

I thank the Virgin of the Well, because when I saw her curves and shapes I gained a better understanding of lines and angles.

Your slave Lu
March 2014

With this retablo I, Juan Luis (write with pencil), and Stefani (she writes with red color) are thanking you for the miracle on day 12, month 12, year 2013, at the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. If it were not your mediation, we could beat each other to death. Stefani got furious because I drank her last booze and left nothing to her. So she started to beat on my head with her rosary.

And after that we made love.

Mexico City
December 12, 2013

How wonderful I managed to fucking leave Juan Alfredo. And now I can do pilates, coaching, yoga, family constellations therapy, bikram yoga, speeding. I can take homeopathic medicine, sit on the maple syrup diet and talk with my slutty girlfriends about all this stuff.

Your slave Deliria Fastidio (Delirious Irritated).

The writing on the arm: «Berlusconi, I love you.»

With this drawing your slave Juan Luis Rubert wants to thank you, Saint Francis, for the miracle. My dog Sandy bit the doña Mariela Luisiana del Corral’s big toe. I cared about the wounded woman with all my devotion, in your constant presence, Saint Francis. At that moment her husband arrived and witnessed this scene. He got furious and killed the dog but left Mariela Luisiana del Corral to me for ever.

Cuernavaca, Mexico
December 2013

I want to thank Saints Cosmas and Damian with this retablo for the miracle that the anatomy teacher Lupita de Barragan became passionate about my son Juan Luis and helped him to overcome his apprehensions and fears of flesh and tendons, and blood, and other things. So my son happily graduated as M.D. surgeon.

Cuernavaca, Mexico
December 20, 2013

We thank Saint Rosary because we managed to cast out the devil of lust from Lupita, although he got in me right away, and it went even worse.

Juan Luis
Mexico, March 21, 2014