One October night, I went to sing a serenade to my girlfriend. I was singing to her and heard enthusiastic applause. When I turned back, I saw skeletons cheerfully applauding me. My girlfriend and I got very scared. Thanks goodness, her window was opened, so I jumped into her room, although we had some problems with her parents after because of that. I thank the Virgin to not leave me to the bony dead’s mercy.

R. B. couldn’t find a liberal and open-minded girlfriend like himself. But with the Saint Anthony’s help he met a woman who shares his tastes. He thanks for that with this retablo.

The night of November 1, I was at the cemetery and was scared to death when I saw with my own eyes a deadman. He was about to get buried but suddenly he opened the lid of his coffin and wanted to get out of it. I entrusted myself to Saint Benedict and ran to my house. The next day, I quit this job, and I think I’d never set my foot in the cemetery again.

Celestino Morales
Zacatecas, Mexico

The boy Jose Gomez found out the combination for his father’s safe and stole a lot of money from it. When it was revealed he was spanked and grounded. He promises to Saint Pancras not to do it again.

We were going by the old road to Lagos de Moreno late at night, and the ghost of a bride appeared to us. She was wondering around looking for her groom. We were so scared, our hair turned white. But thanks to the Virgin of Zapopan’s medallions which our grandmother had given to us and which we had been always wearing on our necks the bride didn’t notice us. They said she takes all the men she met and drags them to her grave.

We thank Saint Jonas because we created a mixture of yoga and latin dance and we are going to open a couple of locations in Eastern New Jersey.

Marito Reyes is happy to be homosexual and thanks the Virgin.

November 21, 2012

My mother-in-law Tamborina Sanchez Aldama used to put false ideas in my wife’s head. She was telling her that I might have another family, that I was flirting with other women, that I was spending all my money for booze, and other stupid things. One day she was in hurry to get to our house to tell my wife that I had a son on the side. But she had an accident at the corner. There were sewerage works going on and she didn’t notice an opened manhole which she fell into. She was in come when they got her out. I thank Saint Sebastian de Aparicio for that. Now her lies won’t ruin my marriage. Besides, everything she had been telling about me eventually turned out to be just fantasies in her head—which by a true miracle doesn’t function anymore.

Apolonio Rosas de Cacho
Teteles de Avila Castillo, Puebla, 1996

The girl Luisa Gomez was very sad because her puppy had been lost. She was praying a lot to Saint Francis and now thanks him because one mister found her puppy safe and sound and brought it back to her.

I thank Saint Sebastian for a successful surgery on my boobies. Now Carlos loves me very much and we are both happy living together.

Yuly
La Condesa, Mexico City, 2007

I, don Alejandro Sotogrande, offer this retablo to the Virgin of the Holy Heart because thanks to her divine intervention I was able to beat this fool Faustino Rondo in cards and win all his property and his cattle. Now I’m the richest landowner in the whole Sonora.

My father didn’t like that I was going out with Raul. But we loved each other. So we kept dating, but we met at the cemetery at night so nobody from the town would see us. One of those nights, we saw a couple of skeletons. They came out of their graves, and he was swearing her his eternal love. We were so overwhelmed with what we saw, the next day, I announced to my father that if he wouldn’t allow Raul visiting me at home, I’d run with him (?). Thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe he understood me, so we can date openly.

My husband brought me a beautiful ara parrot from Chiapas. It was so smart, it even learnt to say my name. It wasn’t accustomed to live in the house though, and on the third day it flew away to the field. I went for the parrot and finally found it. However, don’t know how, we ended up in a labyrinth of prickly plants. With the bird in my hand I tried to get out but the thorns didn’t let me out—my clothes and my hair was caught up. In despair, I prayed the Holy Spirit, and then the miracle happened. The plants seemed to open a passage for me and I got out with the parrot without many scratches. My dress was little bit torn though. I give thanks.