The biggest collection of modern retablos

Filiberto and I went to the mountains, and there we got a strong desire to make out. So we went to bushes, and there while I was stripping down I saw to my fear a pretty big scorpion that came out from under stones. I give thanks to Saint Fracnis of Assisi for it didn’t sting me since it was a venomous one. I promise to be more modest.

Dorotea \ Durango, México

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E. P. went to a whorehouse and used there the Crazy Lola’s services who rode him so hard that she broke his penis. He thanks Saint Bruno with the present retablo for his recovery and promises to not visit such places anymore.

Some aliens came to my house. They had dubious intentions and seemed aggressive. But thank to the Virgin of Guadalupe I started to play my guitar, and the aliens got very happy with the music. Instead of attacking me, they started dancing and even gave me a cube before leaving. I don’t know how to use it but it’s very nice. I thank for they didn’t attack me.

I inherited from my uncle Jose his old motorcycle, and having it changed my life. There’s nothing better that riding it at dawn, with the wind blowing in my face, when I drive into the darkness that becomes golden with the sunrise. I dive into it like in the sea of light. The speed gives me this wonderful feeling inside, and I forget about all my problems and my boring life, and I feel like a god. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan for sending me this motorcycle and I promise to believe more in her.

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Virgin of San Juan de los Lagos, we thank you for we are cured form this fucking diarrhea that happened to us when the damned devil appeared to us. We ran away so fast we even sobered up.

Hugo and Francisco,
San Francisco Chimalpa, Mexico, 13-May-1986

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Dolores Ramos thanks the Holy Virgin of Zapopan because her broods of chicken and turkey went very well and now she can buy a cow. She offers this retablo to the Virgin.

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Chavelita Ruiz was coming back from a grape harvest when she was attacked by a nagual with donkey head who bit her hand. She thanks Saint Rita with this retablo for she managed to escape alive.

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When my husband got very ill and I didn’t know where to find money to take him to the hospital, the Virgin of Guadalupe gave me the inspiration to cut all the flowers in my garden and go sell them at the tianguis market. I sold them all and look my Juan to the doctor, and he was cured promptly.

Gerardo Martinez and Laura Ortiz decided that it would be fun to have sex in the trunk, but by a careless accident they ended up locked inside and had to be rescued. They thank Saint Peter for they didn’t suffocate inside and promise to not go crazy anymore.

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I was poor all my life. Although I worked, the money was never enough to have a comfortable life. I was fed up with this situation. I thank Saint Expeditus because I met my Castulo. I don’t care what the people says about our big age difference. He’s rich and can give me the luxury life I always dreamt of.

Alicia N. \ Mazatlán, Sinaloa

The old lady doña Chonita was walking a very big dog that ended up dragging her after him. She thanks Saint Martin de Porres for some young men helped her and she didn’t get hurt very much.

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It happened, Holy Virgin, that came out the octopus already cooked.

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During a ballet rehearsal Arturo Lezama lifted up his partner and hurt his back very badly. He gives thanks to Saint Jude for his prompt recovery.

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