I, Christofer Rodriguez, give infinite thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe for the miracle of having a martian girlfriend who is so pretty and so hot, and she’s going to make me extraterrestrial children. Woohoo!

Mexico City, 1989

I give infinite thanks to Saint Anthony of Padua for granting me with the miracle of finding my love. In my age, I was ready to remain a old maid, but then one day Vicente came to my life. Now, when we are married, I’m very happy and I understood that love knows no age.

Leonor Rosales ~ San Luis Potosi, Mexico

Holy Child of Atocha, I give you thanks for delivering me from the pain caused by an evil woman who broke my heart.

Vicente, Oaxaca, Mexico, 1968

Rosamaria Morales was drowning and was saved by a very handsome lifeguard. She fervently thanks Saint Anthony with the present retablo because now they are dating.

I liked señorita Leonor del Castillo very much because she was the prettiest girl in town. But she was infamous for being very arrogant and strict with her suitors. That’s why I prayed Saint Anthony, and he worked a miracle for me so she accepted my courtship.

Fausto Reinoso — Aguascalientes

I thank my dear Saint Valentine for finding a husband for my sweet friend named Maria who is a virgin in her 35.

Maria de la O

I thank Saint Valentine because Sonia agreed to marry me when I proposed to her while having a threesome.

D. G. C. 14–Feb.–2009, Mexico City

Epifanio Calles gives thanks with this retablo because Evangelina Lopez, the most chubby girls of the neighborhood, responded to my love, and I thank.

Mexico, February 14, 1962

Edith and I were friends since childhood. But when I presented her my new boyfriend, he told me that she flirted with him. I believe him, because I loved him, and I lashed out against my friend. I thank Saint Charbel because we found out that he played with both of us and we didn’t lose our precious friendship over this jerk.

Alma Suarez — Puebla, Mexico

Miraculous Holy Child of Atocha, I dedicate you this exvoto for letting me be happy. I, Roberto Pilar H., am a faggot, and since I was a little boy I loved men. Now I found love with Carlos A., and we live together.

Coyoacan, April 13, 1975

I thank Saint Anthony because I married a good man who loves me and the animals. He accepted me with my monkey, dogs, cats and parrot. Now we all live happily on his ranch.

I dedicate this to Juan Diego because Miguel stayed in my apartment to live with me and go on with our relationship without being afraid what his family—which is very opposed to it—would say. He made his mind when I proposed him, and now we are happy together.

Raymundo Cuevas
Col. Condesa, Mexico City, February 14, 1990

Pedro and Juan love each other and are very happy. Thanks, Virgin, we are very happy.

Mexico, November 21, 1998