Vicente Ramirez thanks Saint John of the Cross with this retablo because his girlfriend fulfilled his dream about threesome. It was what he wished most for, so now he can die happy.

I publicly thank Saint Francis for helping me to hold my door while I was jerking off so my mother wouldn’t come and take me by surprise in the midst of my routine.

February 7, 2012

Yolanda Rivera was caught by the police when she was swimming in a fountain. She thanks Saint Sebastian de Aparicio with this retablo because she spent only one night in jail. She promises to not be such an exhibitionist.

Samuel Rodriguez fell in love with two mermaids. They bewitched him with their songs. He didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, he didn’t work but spent all days long at the bottom of the lagoon until one day he saw them eating with their huge mouths full of teeth. He thanks the Virgin of the Rosary because it snapped the monsters’ spell.

San Sebastian, I offer you this retablo, because Veronica agreed to live with me. We thank to you for our happiness. Now we can live without hiding our relationship.

Silvia
Lomas de Chapultepec, Mexico
February 14, 1987

R. M. was caught by her mother while masturbating in the tub. She thanks Saint Charnel with this retablo for overcoming the embarrassment caused to her and promises to be more careful.

The Juanita Diaz’ daughter lost her balance and fell while walking out of the shower. She got hurt very badly. Juanita thanks the Virgin of San Juan because her daughter got no serious injuries.

Araceli Lopez and her boyfriend had sex while drunk. Suddenly he slipped in the wrong hole and cause her tremendous pain. She thanks Saint Pancras with this retablo for quick healing because she couldn’t even sit.

The fishermen Pascual and Cayetano Rios thank the Archangel Raphael because a beautiful mermaid with her magic singing made so the fish jumped in their boat without using the net.

Rogelio Mendez and Gloria Lopez got drunk and went to the mountains to have sex. But he was so drunk he climbed up the nopal cactus. He thanks Saint Francis with this retablo for he got cured from the infection that he got after multiple pricks.

I thank the Lord of Chalma, because Joaquin managed to escape before my husband entered the room. So he avoided troubles. I dedicate this retablo, asking for forgiveness and repenting. I swear I wouldn’t have cheated on my husband, because he loves me and doesn’t deserve it. I’ll always be faithful to him until death tears us apart. I fell for Joaquin’s youth and words, but it really helped me to appreciate my husband as a man and as a human being.

Rosa H. J.
Condesa, Mexico City
February 14, 1990