I dedicate this retablo to the Miraculous Virgin so that one day Sarah Palin become the first woman-president of USA because she’s very beautiful and decent woman and wears glasses just like mine. Also I’ve heard she loves tacos.

I thank Saint Anthony of Padua for such a beautiful wedding. I married a man whom I love and who also loves me. We hope God send us a lot of children.

Juanita Cantu & Amador Ramirez
Tequila, Jalisco — June 26, 1862

My life became very complicated. I felt weak and distressed. Then I started to pray to my guardian angel, as when I was little. I wanted him to help me to forget all my tiresome problems. And the angel with his friend came that night. They took my bed, and we flew over the town. I was scared at first, but then I saw the sky over me. It was full of stars. And under me there was the world. It seemed so small. Suddenly my heart got filled with great happiness, and I couldn’t think nothing but the boundless beauty around me. Now I live a full and much more happier life.

I thank Jesus Christ because bastards who attacked and violently raped me didn’t kill me and didn’t infect me with AIDS. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ with this retablo.

Monica Torres Avila
Guadalajara, Jalisco, 1971

Maria Luisa Gomes was annoyed by her suitors. All of them were boring, predictable and kind of ugly. But one day she met Pedro Lopez. He won her heart when he gave her a carnivorous plant. Maria thanks Saint Anthony for meeting such an extraordinary and intelligent man, and, moreover, with pretty eyes. With this plant there are no more flies and mosquitoes in her house.

Juan Velazquez got drunk and fell asleep on the railroad. He thanks Saint Pancras for his buddy came in time and dragged him off the tracks before he was chopped in pieces by the locomotive.

My fiancé and I were swimming underwater admiring the marine life. Suddenly I was caught by an octopus. It entangled me with its tentacles. I was scared and started to pray Saint Francis. Meanwhile my fiancé blinded the octopus with the flash of his underwater camera. The octopus let me go without hurting me. I thank the saint patron for that.

I had some bad luck. I didn’t even sniff a chick for a few months. But I prayed to Saint Engratia, and I met a very hot sexy blond at a dinner. And it went very well with her.

The explorer John Dickens found a new specie of spider in the tropic forests. With this retablo, he thanks Saint Patrick for that.

My wife heard a strange noise. She went outside to look what happened. Suddenly she was caught by a nagual. He took her and ran to the corn field. She was scared, she started praying to the Virgin of the Rosary of Talpa. The nagual stopped to eat some crickets, and that moment my wife could escape. She locked herself in the house. Now, when we hear some noise at nights, we do not go out. We thank the Virgin.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Pancras. Thanks to him I invented a marvelous machine which makes the most delicious salami and pork sausages in Queretaro.

In 1920 in the town of San Tito my buddy caught me on the mat with his wife. He started shooting at us. I give infinite thanks to the Holy Child of Atocha because bullets didn’t hit me. She took them all, and I jumped out the window.

Virgin, thank you for saving me from bad black birds.

Maria Mora