The other night an ugly fat man came to our corner, and no one from my friends wanted to go with him. So we decided to draw straws between us, I lost and had to go with him to the motel. I thank Saint James the Apostle with this exvoto because it went really well, he payed me triple for my services and treated me very good.

Natasha

I was at the slaughter in Ciudad Juarez on April 2 and survived because I hid myself under the corpse of the Immaculate Conception who took all the bullets shot at me. I thank you, the Pure, for protecting me from certain death.

April 10, 1996

May you be blessed, Virgin of Guadalupe, for I got my voice back. I was left unable to speak, and I implored you promising this retablo if you’d help me. You know that’s how I earn my living performing serenades and songs in taverns here in Garibaldi. Look after me in my job, and I promise to dedicate you a cantata on every December 12.

Juan Perez, Mexico City

Thanks, Virgin of Guadalupe, for healing me from a terrible disease that I carelessly caught from a client. I implored her in such a bad situation, and now I’m back to work.

July
Merced, Mexico, May 2002

I thank you, Virgin of the Solitude, for saving my life when the old man my neighbor caught me in his house and started shooting at me. Thanks to you I could escape with nary a scratch, just frightened.

Jasinto Lopez, Oaxaca, Mexico, 1968

I thought I was in love with both Fox Mulder and Dana Scully; but the more I obsessively watched the X-files, the more I realized that I was actually into Scully—her dour manner, independence, badassery, skepticism, intelligence, and the way she wielded a gun, & wore her pant suits. And how hot she looked in those pant suits. Infinite thanks to Saint Scully, for modeling the ideal love & partner for me, at a time when I didn’t even know that I was into girls.

P.S. Infinite thanks for Gillian Anderson, too.

Melbourne, 2019

After looking for many years, I finally met the woman of my dreams. Thanks to you, Virgin of Carmel, I married her. Thanks.

Manuel Cardenas
Oaxaca, Mexico, 1968

We came to an island where carnivores rabbits live. Thanks to the Virgin we got out of there well.

Help me to end my loneliness, Saint Anthony. Thus I ask you to send me a handsome man to be my husband.

Maru Palacios

Sr. Macario gives infinite thanks to the Lord of Chalma for saving his cow Pancha from dying from a rare disease that was killing all the animals and with no cure from it. He brings this retablo as his gratitude for this.

October 25, 1970
Ixtlahuaca, Mexico

I, Zuleyma Nava, pay with this exvoto thanking for my Piolo stopped whoring and taking bath and jerking his weener with his friend Cholo. I pay with this in gratitude for fulfilling my request. Thanks.

Mexico City, 1989

I thank the Lord of the Wonders with this exvoto for having participated in the Day of the Dead Parade this year. It was a unique experience full of colors and joy. We share this beautiful tradition with the entire world, and I ask for health to be able to participate again the next year.

Mexico City, 2019

On September 19, 2017, there was a terrible earthquake in Mexico, and my brother was trapped under the debris of the collapsed building where he lived. But after few hours the dog Frida found him, and thanks to her his life was saved. I ask Saint Francis of Assisi, with this retablo, to protect and look after Frida and other rescue dogs who risk their lives to save ours at these catastrophes.

Magdalena S., Mexico City