My friends and I, we all got fighting and arguing because of one flirting girl. I dedicate this retablo to Saint Pancras and thank him for we finally came to reason and made up. And that girl—she can go fuck herself!

Tequila, Jalisco, 1912

I went to the park every morning with an excuse of exercising in order to look at one pretty girl. She was exercising there. Unfortunately, one day she took her dog out. When the dog noticed me spying on her, it attacked me. I didn’t know how to escape and prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan for help. That moment the dog stopped chasing me. I thank the Virgin and promise to not spy anymore.

Carmelo Diaz
Zapopan, 1998

Since my cousin came to live with me, she was constantly flirting with my boyfriend. She used to put her mini-skirt every time he was coming to me. I’m thanking the Virgin of San Juan for my cousin moved back to her town and my boyfriend never payed her attention. I’m feel myself calm and happy now.

Azucena Godínez
Tlaxcala, Tlaxcala

I thank Saint Dominic who helped me to join a famous gym and work on my muscles. Now I can give pleasure to my beautiful girls.

Oaxaca
January 23, 1953

Thank you, Virgin, you forgave me for falling so low.

Joaquin Ramirez, a barber, got distracted by a pretty girl and cut a client. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for the client didn’t spread the word about it. Otherwise, he would’ve been ruined.

Our grandmother used to chase out all our boyfriends with a broom. Also she kicked away the postman, the butcher and any other man approaching the doors of our house. We thank the Virgin of the Rosary for she finally moved out to our aunt Rosa. So now we can have boyfriends and receive the love letters from them.

Angelica Robles thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe with this retablo because her tits finally grew in and now she attracts many men in the town.

My father was very strict with me and didn’t trust me. He thought I was flirting with clients in our poultry-shop instead of hard-working. But one day, came a young man whom I fell in love with. I thank Saint Anthony because my father saw his good intentions and he listened to his heart and realized that my happiness is the most important. Now we are going to marry.

Clara Sanchez
Tlaxcala

I went on vacation during the Holy Week. I was passing along the beach when I saw two very handsome guys playing in the sea. I start flirting with them and accidentally step on a lobster. The lobster pinched my leg, defending itself. I thank Jesus Nazarene for the cut wasn’t very serious. I promise not to flier on holy days.

Adelaida Ortega
Merida, Yucatan

I thank the Sweet Lord because after my prayers I lost some of the apprehension and awkwardness I have when I talk to the girls.

Ricardo Suarez took three viagras to impress two chicks with whom he was having a threesome. But then it didn’t get down, and Ricardo ended up in the hospital. He thanks Saint Jude with this retablo for he was helped right in time.