Lord Jesus of the heaven, my mommy told me I got to ask you to forgive me because the other day she caught me stroking my cock in my room in front of your holy cross and you got very angry with me. She said I lack respect to you, but it’s not true because I didn’t see that you could see me from your cross. Please forgive me, Christ Jesus, and I won’t touch myself in front of you ever again.

Barcelona, February, 2014

Thank you, Virgin, because that irritable misanthrope my father miraculously saved his life when he crashed his little plane in a windmill. He was left crippled, and Delta pensioned him off early. My mother and I are very happy because now he helps us about the house. But my sister isn’t thrilled about it because she can’t spend afternoons locked up in her room with her boyfriend anymore.

My boyfriend Jasinto and I were secretly seeing each other by the river for our lovemaking because my daddy didn’t let me have a boyfriend. But the other day, while we were making out, we saw someone passing by. I thank the Holy Lord of Chalma for it was only my grandfather who cannot see very well, so he didn’t notice us. Otherwise, things with my family would have gone very terrible for me.

Lupita R. ~ Morelia, Michoacan

My family members criticize me for studying philosophy in the university for more than 15 years. I thank Saint Jerome for there is this wonderful magic weed that helps me to understand the philosophic concepts. I don’t care what people say and I don’t care about studying so long because with these trips I’ll become the greatest philosopher of the new millennium.

Mexico

Thanks, Virgin of Guadalupe, because my daughter Juana came back home after running away with her boyfriend.

Matias Cruz

Isidoro Sanchez was sick and tired of his wife and mother-in-law treating him like a servant and commanding in his own house. That’s why he entrusted himself, with all his might and faith, to Saint Raymond so as the things would change. As he promised, he brings the present retablo giving thanks because now he’s the one in charge.

Merida, Yucatan

I thank the Virgin of San Juan for giving me courage to run away with my boyfriend. Our friend helped us to go live together far away so our parents can’t punish us.

We beg the Lord of Chalma, from our hearts, to end quickly the quarantine and the COVID-19 virus so that our children could go back to school because we can’t stand being locked up with them any longer. They only cause havoc, and my wife and I are about to explode from the stress.

Raul and Sonia L. — Mexico

The other day my daughter introduced me her boyfriend, and I almost got a heart attack from fear because he looked like a goth, metalhead, punk or something like this. I definitely didn’t like that he’s going out with my daughter. I thanks Saint James the Apostle because after knowing him better I found out he is a good boy, hard-working and educated, and he loves my daughter. I promise not to judge people by their appearance.

Lucrecia del Castillo
Monterrey, Nuevo Leon

I thank God for being near when I needed the most. The abortion went well. There were difficult moments when it was really important to count on my mother support.

Alma Gloria, 19 years — Chiapas

My daughter was a young beautiful girl, and she had many suitors. The bad part was that she was a magnet for the most weird characters in the world. My husband and I looked at all those types who visited my daughter with horror to such degree that when our neighbor’s son began to date her we welcomed him with great enthusiasm, in spite that we always thought he was slightly dumb. We thank because the weird guys don’t come to our house anymore.

Catarino Carmona was spying on Jasinta swimming naked in the river. But then came her odious father and started shooting at him. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo because no bullet hit him.

Puebla, 1914

I’m gay but my family doesn’t know about it because they wouldn’t understand me. I even get a girlfriend so they wouldn’t suspect anything. But she insisted on intimacy. So one night I was going to try it but at the end couldn’t do it. I’m infinitely thankful to Saint Sebastian because she didn’t get angry and we remained good and confident friends. She promised me to not reveal my secret.

Saúl N.
 \ Mexicali, Baja California