I thank Saint Cyprian because he helped me to bewitch Quinberly Esmid. I, being very ugly, gave her a potion given to me by a sorcerer from Catemaco. She fell in love with me and now she’s my wife.

Lamberto Ferreira de los Monteros
Chichimequillas, Guanajuato, 1969

Because my husband spent all the day riding a horse, drank some mezcal and ate some hot snacks, he couldn’t pee that evening. He suffered all night, and no remedy helped him. So I implored Saint Paschal, and he got cured by the dawn. I thank for that with this retablo.

Puebla, 1924
Francisca Ramos

It occurred to my wife to fulfill her childhood dream of becoming a circus artist. She got on our old horse, put a feather in her hair and started doing some tricks. She got all the animals scared and even the horse felt itself humiliated. I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for bringing my wife back to reason so she forgot about this. Now she is alright <. . .> because we are expecting our first baby (?).

When the school where my wife used to teach for many years was closed she was very upset. She started to give lessons to our pets. It made me worried, so I prayed Saint Francis. He worked the miracle, and my wife received a teacher job offer from another school. She stopped torturing the poor animals which were very annoyed.

My husband loved his dogs so much he let them sleep in our bedroom. But then the dogs had their five puppies and it became totally unbearable. I prayed to the Virgin of San Juan for a solution. I thank the Virgin because my husband finally agreed to build a kennel for them. So now I don’t suffer from dog hairs and fleas.

My husband brought home a mermaid. I was very jealous because he wouldn’t pay me any attention. One day he went to work. The mermaid was sleeping in her pond. So I caught her with a net and threw this damned creature in the sea. I thank the Virgin of San Juan because now my husband pays me more attention.

Since I got internet at home for my work my wife has been spending all her time chatting with her friends and playing the computer. She wouldn’t do her household chores and neglected our baby. I thank Saint Raymond Nonnatus for delivering her from this internet obsession. And now she’s an excellent mother and a great wife.

Filiberto Pantoja — Chihuahua

My husband decided to cross and interbreed very different animals. I prayed the Virgin of San Juan to stop this madness. I thank the Virgin because he gave all the animals to the zoo and now does experiments only with flowers and vegetables. I hope he wouldn’t create a giant carnivorous plant.

I thank the Virgin of San Juan because I married a very sweet and beautiful woman who is also an excellent cook who satisfies all my culinary caprices.

I thank Saint Clare because I met a fellow countryman with a sufficiently pretty and big truck so I can put on my sister, my wife, my eight children and even my goat during the parade in my town Villa Escalante.

My wife began to eat in the bed. I hated it because there were a lot of crumbs in the bed. Also she chewed it with so much noise that I couldn’t sleep or watch TV. But the worst thing was that I was on a diet. But thanks to my prayers to the Virgin of San Juan an ant army came to our bed attracted by the food. They bit my wife so she stopped eating in bed.

After having a very high fever, my husband imagined himself as a superhero from comics. He tried to fly to save the world. I was afraid he’d going to kill himself and I prayed to Saint Peter Martyr. Saint patron of the lunatics, thank you for my husband is back to reason so I don’t have to run after him to the roofs to stop him from flying. Although when he becomes very affectionate at night, he enjoys putting his superhero costume on.

Thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe, because I understood that the woman is just like the devil. That’s why my wife is a bitch.

Jasinto Peña
Oaxaca, Mexico, 1966